One of the most powerful ways to grow is to work with a coach who helps you to expedite the process by tenfold.
Today I’ve had a session with my own coach and she helped me to ‘cry some hard shit off’ and get aligned with my heart.
I’ve spent the rest of the day in contemplation mode.
Journaled and spent time by myself with myself.
She had asked me what does mediocrity mean to me, and I wanted to share my answer with you.
Living an average, or a mediocre life to me means:
I live fake.
I will meet my last day with regret.
I am not REALLY living.
I play a part in someone else’s play.
I am not in alignment with my truth.
I don’t live in integrity.
If I don’t use it properly, I am not worthy of this life.
My life isn’t worthy.
I waste my life.
I allow myself to be sucked into drama and nonsense instead of using the gifts GOD gave me to leave a positive footprint behind me.
I am a parasite.
I am a hypocrite.
I am a liar.
I am selfish.
I am lazy.
I am too afraid to try for REALS.
I am not fully living.
I live a half-life.
I am a half-woman.
I want to live a big life.
If I’m honest, this was my wish since about middle school.
I have wanted to do BIG things.
But instead, I’ve only done average.
I’ve only done good enough.
To the outside world, it seemed like I am amazing.
No one knew, but I did.
Why do I feel like a big life is the only life there is?
Or why ‘average’ or mediocre is not good enough?
Not sure how to answer this question other than, why not live big when you know it’s possible for you?
I live in the land of possibility, so why not live big?
What’s the excuse I have for living here and still be ‘average’?
Maybe it’s a matter of reframing ‘average’ in my mind?
Maybe it’s a matter of being happy with what I have.
But I am, I truly am.
I am so grateful.
For my husband.
For my kids.
For my house.
For our van.
For our lifestyle.
For the community we have.
For our families that live so close by.
For the support and help, we have.
All these things make me feel even worse.
Because I know I have all the things I need to play big.
So why play mediocre? Why?
Just because I know I deserve it.
Just because I know we can.
Just because it would be fun to see how the big leagues actually feel.
Money and abundance is not a material thing for me.
It is more spiritual than anything.
I believe that I am a child of GOD and that the things I want, want me back.
I just need to get out of my own way.
So today’s session was powerful and I’m thankful for it.
It was extremely helpful for me to be honest with myself.
It’s interesting that my own struggles are tied so nicely in my work with women.
I want women, wives and mothers (aka myself) to:
Own my body (radical self-care, positive body image, living cyclically)
Trust my desire for more (more love, great sex, more money, stronger connection and relationships)
I want it for myself.
I want it for my daughters.
I want it for women, wives and mothers I work with.