So many mothers feel trapped and judged in motherhood, they feel like they have to sacrifice their lives, hobbies, careers, and self-actualization in order to raise children and provide for them. There is so much taboo and social conditioning that doesn’t allow mothers to consciously “regret” motherhood, and express their feelings and emotions in a safe and non-judgmental manner.
I hear women say things like:
“motherhood destroyed me”
“I regret having children”
“Why did I do this to myself?”
“I am such a lousy mother”
“I’m screwing up my kids”
In today’s episode, I talk about the importance of allowing these feelings and emotions to be expressed safely as opposed to stored sway and numbed down. This is the only way to thrive both in your human experience and in motherhood. While I have a lot of respect for women who made the decision not to have children consciously and intentionally this conversation is important for all of us, mothers and non-mothers alike.
If you choose to be a mother, please understand that it will require you to level up. It will require you to grow, learn, stretch yourself, and grow up, it will require you to become an adult and to stop complaining, playing the victim, playing small, looking for mommy or daddy to save you or do things for you. Heck, motherhood will require you to do things differently than your own mom. You will be stretched to be the mom that you didn’t have.
Motherhood is your opportunity to express your true potential as a woman and human being.
There is a difference between pain & suffering. In this article, I feel so much suffering and resistance to motherhood, which is a difficult feeling to live with for the rest of your life. However, if you accept the pain and hardship in motherhood as a given and learn how to flow and plow through it, that’s when you would be exercising the muscles of the divine feminine which reside inside of you.
You might not be aware of it, but you do have power. No, let me correct that, you have superpowers!
So, instead of regretting or resisting this experience, try putting on a different set of glasses. Glasses that will show you a different point of view, and different perspective. Because if you have been given the privilege of birthing children, you were meant to do great things you just don’t know how. But, the how is easy, the how is learnable, the how is a skill which you can perfect over time with practice.
Your action task for today
Think about one thing you are resisting, one thing that feels really hard to you in the process of raising your children and raising yourself and share it with me. I will personally hold your hand and cheer you on. You can find me on FB I go under Dorit Palvanov, or you are welcome to email me firstname.lastname@example.org
Keep nurturing, mothering and taking care of yourself because your family’s well-being begins with you, the mom.
Christen Reighter’s TEDx talk