Dorit Palvanov, BA, RHN

Female Desire Coach

Guiding mothers to fall in love with life again

In love, you break generational patterns of control issues, perfectionism, overgiving (martyrdom, self-sacrifice, self-neglect), tolerating poor treatment, putting yourself last, lack of self-esteem, confidence, self-acceptance, trust, and respect and reclaim your divine superpowers as a woman, wife, and mother. 

As women, it is our birthright to live full, joyful and embodied lives. As mothers, it is our responsibility to leave a legacy of self-love for our daughters.

My Story

I am a daughter of a mother who, like me, had three girls.

My maternal lineage is full of women. I believe that this is because there is healing work to be done for the women in my family, as well as all the women of humanity.

This is what my work is all about. Teaching mothers of daughters about their sacred female body so that they can embody self-love, self-acceptance, radical self-care, and pass this on to the next generation.

To me, this is true healing.

I grew up with an amazing mother. She provided everything my sisters and I needed – food, shelter, clothes, good education and many other needs. 

We were her project and she sacrificed everything for us – her career, health, hobbies, fun, relationships with other women, and so much more.

As a result, I thought that’s what you do to be a “good” woman, wife and mother.

At age 26, when I first became a mom, I thought I had had everything I needed to become the mom I wanted to be.

I wanted to be a patient, confident, honoring, sweet and nice mom for my kids and stay a loving, attentive and sexy wife and lover for my husband. 

That was the fantasy.

In reality, I’ve become a tired, irritable, bitter, unsatisfied, resentful, dry, uninspired and unmotivated woman. 

Every day was a drag.

Every day I had to force myself out of bed, take care of logistics (food, household, laundry, etc) and couldn’t wait to go to bed again. 

During these days of my mothering journey, let’s just say that it wasn’t fun to be around me. 

Very quickly I realized that raising a child is not only hard physically, it is also challenging mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

It was like my life split into two at the moment I became a mom. 

There was my life before kids and then there was my life after kids. 

In that process, I have lost myself or who I thought I was. 

In the space of ten years I gave birth to three girls and the more kids I had, the less connected to myself I felt.

I doubted and judged myself and my abilities as a mom constantly.

Was afraid of speaking my truth (the years of cultural conditioning I have acquired as a Russian Jew didn’t make it any easier).

Desperate, I looked to my mom and tried to learn from her how to cope with challenges in life and realized that she, just like me, has been disconnected from herself for the majority of her adult life.

There was something missing deep within her. I realized that she is deeply driven by a fear of her own true power.

For her, this manifested in people pleasing, deep self-sacrifice, obsessive pursuit of perfection, the constant questioning of herself, and years of self-neglect.

She was always looking outside of herself for confirmation of her worth and value.

My definition of Embodiment is feeling connected to your body, humanity, spirit and soul as a woman, wife and mother. 

It’s the knowing of who you are and what you were brought here to do.  It’s that which sparks joy, pleasure, grit and the desire to wake up each morning to create, build, help and do for others. 

The more mature I got, the more I started noticing this all around me – older and wiser women were struggling with fear, indecision, self-doubt, control, self-sabotage, boundaries, stating their needs, emotional immaturity, and playing small.

Dis-embodied women were all around me (and my daughters)!

  • Women, who didn’t understand how their female body is designed.
  •  Women who’ve felt like being a woman is a curse, not a blessing.
  • Women, who’ve self-neglected themselves physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually for decades (if not centuries, epigenetically speaking).

As I grew into a woman, this started to show up in my life. I didn’t feel alive and whole within myself.

Pregnancy, motherhood, wifehood… they were all traumatizing because I didn’t know how to keep up. 

I felt like a panting dog, or like I couldn’t rise above the water to breathe and was suffocating in the overwhelm, long to-do lists, checkmarks, and everyone’s needs and wants. 

I felt dispersed and diluted. 

Bottom line – I didn’t know how to take care of myself.

There was this deep sense that something was missing.

On the physical level, I started saying things like:

“I hate my fat arms”

“I hate my post-baby pooch”

“I hate my huge butt”

“I hate my enormous scarred belly”

“I hate what these pregnancies have done to me!”

“Motherhood destroyed me”

“ I want my pre-baby body back”

“I hate feeling like a stuffed-up sausage”  

“I don’t have any energy or life force in my body left for me!”

On a deeper, emotional level I started keeping myself busy just to survive, to get through another uninspiring day. The chatter, the noise in my head and the unbearable sense of overwhelm, fatigue, low libido, low energy, lack of joy and deep sadness were all soothed by doing mundane and uninspiring things like cleaning the house, laundry, cooking healthy and elaborate meals for my family, and worst of all isolating myself from everyone and everything. I’ve sacrificed every bit of myself to feel like a good mom and wife.

Ironically, during this time of my life, I felt the most disconnected from my daughters, husband, and community.

This game of “house” was falling apart.

That’s when I did what I was taught to do – turned outside of myself to look for help.

  • Eating healthier, that will solve my problem.
  • If I learn to cook healthier, I will feel better.
  • I need to go Vegan
  • I have to start going to the gym.
  • I need to follow fitness experts on IG who will motivate me to get my act together and lose the weight!
  • I don’t have enough knowledge, I thought, and so I read more books, listened to more podcasts, bought online courses to fix my problem and became an avid consumer of what is called ‘edu-tainment’.

The uncomfortable truth was that all of this CHANGED NOTHING.

Why? Because I didn’t know how to integrate. It’s like the difference between doing yoga and talking about yoga. In order to feel the benefit you actually have yo do the work. 

The real change came from my awareness that I needed help, the courage to ask for it and then surrender to the work that needed to be done.

Change comes from within

It was when I began to practice FEM-BODIMENT that my life shifted dramatically.

FEMBODIMENT : Feminine + Embodiment

The practice of understanding, tuning into and trusting your female body’s wisdom instead of living in your head to create a life that feels sustainable, fun, easy and doable without sacrificing who you are. 

That’s what the work of embodiment has done for me and that is what I help my clients achieve as well – to integrate radical self-care into their busy lives, learn how to eat, exercise and socialize “like a woman”, balance their hormones so that they cultivate the feeling of joy, calm, ease, and flow every day.

This is not about perfection. Rather, it’s about sustainability and finding what works for you!

This is the difference between being simply inspired to having an actual transformation in your life. That is what my work is all about. 

I am not interested in surface level change or quick fixes. My work is dedicated to helping you shift away from overwhelm and step into being the strong, solid, confident, fierce, and powerful woman, wife and mother you forgot that you are. 

My work is to remind you who you truly are. 

You have everything you need for your healing inside of you. Fembodiment will help you access this wisdom by relying on the one person you can trust on forever. You!

My mission is to raise women with a strong sense of self through the ability, and courage to practice full fembodiment.

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