How do you celebrate mother’s day?
Are you treated as a queen for that day? Do you get a breakfast in bed? Do you order in and skip the mess of eating at home? Do you spend time in nature? Do you spend the day with kids or your own mom or grandmother?
Do you give yourself a day free from chores?
Do you give yourself permission to do less stuff and just take in and savor what you’ve created?
Notice how in the last two sentences I’ve used the term “give yourself” instead of “get”.
Because you don’t get anything from life. Nothing is free. And I don’t say this to discourage you, I say this to empower you and encourage you to take back control over your life. In life, you set intentions, ask for what you want, declare it to the universe, do what is required to get it, and then wait for it to come. And it will come, I promise.
Because at the end of the day, even your Mother’s Day will go the way you decide, you intent and you request.
Remember this – you are the one teaching people how to treat you.
If you just expect people to do or give to you without asking for it or setting an example for it, in most cases you will end up feeling disappointed, full or resentment, and unappreciated. I know, I know, you may be thinking “but I like to be surprised”, well then it is up to you to make sure the people you love know and are clear about the fact that you like to be surprised. Don’t expect them to guess it, and don’t trust their goodwill. This is not to say that people are mean, absolutely not! What this means is that people are busy, overscheduled and self-absorbed. This is true especially with regards to children, who don’t yet have the capacity to see someone other than themselves.
So, as wise women, someone I like to refer to as divas or goddesses, it’s up to us to set the stage and make it a success. At the end of the day, Mother’s Day is not really about them celebrating you, but rather, you celebrating yourself, your status as a mother. Build the environment for yourself to make this a special day, which will hopefully have a lasting effect beyond just one day. I want you and me to live like this every day.
So what should you do instead?
I want to give you three suggestions to try for this Mother’s Day so that you have an example, even if it’s just for one day, of what’s possible. I want you to see for yourself how it feels to THRIVE in your body when you set the right grounds for yourself.
- First thing I recommend you to do is start the day before everyone else gets up. Give yourself the permission to wake up in peace, quiet, and serenity. Forgo the phone and news. That can wait.
Strech. Look up some short yoga videos on YouTube, even if it’s for 10 minutes.
Have that shower you are craving but never have the time for.
Write in your journal. If you don’t have a habit of journalling yet, start by writing what you are grateful for today.
Drink a cup of warm water with lemon following your favorite cup of coffee.
Make an agreement with yourself that you will finish that cup, and will not drink it cold!
This is not so much about the coffee as it is about an act of self-love and self-honoring. Again, don’t expect your family members to understand this, just male a point of it. I actually say this to my daughters, “as an act of self-love I am going to finish my cup of coffee (or tea) and right after I will do/help/give you” whatever it is they need.
- Start your day with a delicious and nourishing breakfast! If you can get your husband and/or kids to bring it to your bed, go for it! I go by the principle of PFF – protein, fat, and fiber in the morning which is designed to support your nervous system and your sensitive hormonal system. Some ideas could be a sprouted whole grain toast with 1/2 an avocado and cod liver or sardines. This is my go to as far as breakfast. It is quick, easy to put together and I find that it is extremely soothing and calming for the nervous system. Other ideas would be a chia pudding which is basically soaking chia seeds overnight in a milk of your choice (I prefer dairy-free milk) and top it with nuts, seeds, maybe a drizzle of maple syrup, and some fresh fruit or berries.
I know breakfast can sound trivial and silly, but I see so many women, moms especially who either skip breakfast altogether or eat cereal with milk for breakfast which sets their blood sugar on a never-ending, and sometimes dangerous roller coaster. When you choose good quality and nourishing breakfast for yourself you are not only feeding yourself right, but also teaching your kids to make these choices for themselves too. Think of it as programming your kids for a lifetime of self-care.
- The last thing I recommend you do is – look at yourself in the mirror and smile to yourself! So many times we look at ourselves with a rushed and exhausted look which doesn’t inspire us throughout the day and doesn’t honor the humanness inside of us. I want to cultivate a life for myself where I view each day with reverence and godliness. I want to live my life from a place of awe and respect to the creator and mother earth, as opposed to rushing through life like a beat up rat who never gets a chance to truly enjoy the process of creation and feel bliss. What’s the point to life and raising children if every day is a hassle and feels like a chore? Again, the only one who can give you that is you. Don’t wait for that feeling to just drop on you one day. The way to do this is only by practice, every single day, in and out. By allowing yourself to observe, to pause, to let your shoulders down. To stop talking and running around. Just stop.
For that day, I want to challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. Go ahead and tell yourself “I love you”. If you have a full body mirror do that for your body as well. No matter how heavy or light it is, no matter how much cellulite it has, no matter how many muffin tops you have, no matter how fat or skinny your arms are. This is your only body. You will never have another, and I want you to look at it with a different perspective, even if it’s just for today. This body has been there with you in preschool, grade one, grade 8, grade 12, college, your wedding. This is the body that has allowed you to carry your child. This is the only body you have so please love it, honor it, see the sacredness in it. It is yours for the rest of your life.
So there you have it, three things I think you should do this Mother’s Day, without relying on anyone, expecting anything from anyone, just celebrating your life, your motherhood journey and just be. If you happen to get gifts or flowers from anyone let it be an added bonus or like the icing on the cake, but remember that feeling good on that day is an inner work. It comes from deep within.
I found this beautiful poem online which I think you’ll love! It’s called: As I Began To Love Myself. The author is unknown.
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Quick reminder, if you feel overwhelmed, uninspired, exhausted, like you are just getting through the day and suffer quietly and slowly dying from within, please stop waiting for it to just go away! Instead, reach out to me. Send me an email, firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get on the phone for a quick chat to see if we’re a good fit. In order for this to work, your need and craving to feel good have to be stronger than my readiness to serve you. I want it for you but you have to want it more! That’s the only way you are going to breakthrough.
I wish you a beautiful, happy and joyful Mother’s Day!