“Becoming a parent is the deepest and most profound yoga practice you will ever have”
Bringing a new life into the world is a big deal, there’s no question about that.
It’s exciting, scary and monumental.
From the moment a baby is born he is fully dependent on you – for food, physical and mental comforting and everything else that is encompassed in this experience.
In the health space for women and mothers, there’s a lot of awareness to take a really good care of a baby. In fact, it’s all about the baby.
From the moment you discover you are pregnant, you get into “baby mode”. You and hubby will start researching strollers for baby, cute little clothes for baby, furniture for baby, toys for baby, food for baby – it’s all baby-centric!
Even if you decide to exercise and take care of yourself for a change you’ll see classes like prenatal yoga that are designed to prepare you for birth and a proper positioning of the baby in your uterus.
You’ve got the point. It’s baby all the way.
One thing that is being overlooked and almost ignored is the wellbeing of the woman that is going to birth to this baby. The woman that will step into the new role of a mother. The young lady who will have to face all the new challenges that come with this new role.
She is not trained, she is not educated, guided or supported. She is just left to figure it all out on her own, we assume she knows how. But so many women don’t know how. So many women struggle with things like post-partum depression, don’t believe they have what is needed to raise really good human beings and achieve what they’ve always wanted. Instead, I see these women, settle for less than, I see them subscribing to the story that motherhood and parenting are hard and unsatisfying.
No one talks about her physical and mental wellbeing. No one prepares you for the loss of self-identity and grief that is involved in birthing this new life, which is also birthing a new you. From that moment onwards you will no longer know yourself the way you knew before you became a mom.
In the process of becoming a mother, you are losing sleep, time, fun, friends, travel, peace, quiet – in one word, you are losing your freedom. You are losing your pre-mom self and stepping into responsibility and real adulthood.
As a result, many women might feel resentment, anger, and regret. These feelings are normal and ok to feel. You are not crazy, you are not insane. What you are going through is grieving. There’s sadness and pain in seeing that little girl not being free anymore, there’s pain in seeing this girl becoming responsible for someone else, for having someone dependent on her 100%. And there’s no way back.
I want you to know that all of that is an illusion. The only reason why all of that feels hard, difficult and icky is only that you don’t have the tools to deal with this new challenge. Is should have been taught or passed down to you by your mother, but of course, since your own mother wasn’t taught that herself, she can’t teach you what she herself doesn’t know. So there are generations upon generations of women and mothers who don’t understand themselves, don’t know how to regulate themselves, and as a result, raise children who are the same.
This is particularly important if you are raising a daughter. Imagine how would it feel to talk to your daughter about this stuff? Imagine how different her life would be if you teach her how to take care of herself while raising her own child.
No one teaches her how to regulate her feelings and emotions that pop up along with raising a baby who is crying a lot, many times for no apparent reason. No one teaches her how to comfort herself, how to take care of herself and how to not project her own stuff into this new life. No one talks about the fact that children come to the world complete and whole and how because of having mothers who don’t understand them and themselves perpetuate generations of humans that are detached from themselves and the present moment.
We are unconscious, unaware, don’t know ourselves, so how can we know who these little people are? On a soul level? How can you contain their potential as humans if you don’t yet contain yourself as a human being?
That is the core of my mission behind Health Begins With Mom. I want to create that mothering support for you, that circle from which you can grow, learn and thrive. From which you can understand yourself as a human being and raise your children to know and feel that they are whole, complete and resourceful, and grow to be humans we need more of in the world.
Today on the show I am chatting with a friend of mine who’s also my yoga instructor, Tracey Soghrati. Before I introduce you to Tracey I have a little warning, we get into a deep and interesting conversation about the process of motherhood, some of the stuff we talk about might sound woo-woo to some of you. I want you to listen anyway, especially if you’re a new mom. There’s a lot of wisdom and insight you will gain from this conversation.
So, now that I have that out of my way, I’m going to introduce you to Tracey.
Tracey Soghrati is a yoga instructor, educator, and her vision is to share yoga philosophy & practice in a manner that is authentic, accessible and applicable to modern day life. Her classes are grounded in a sound knowledge of the physical body and a humble perspective on the power of the mind. She seeks to incorporate self-inquiry as a tool of self-realization in every practice. She specializes in delivering classes that are healing and invigorating for all levels of the body. From personal experience, I can share that Tracey’s classes feel like a therapy session on top of exercise, and I found myself many times in a weird yoga posture with teary eyes and in deep contemplation.
Here’s what we covered:
- The story of the loss of a mother at a young age that brought Tracey to discover yoga at a young age along with challenges
- The definition of the ‘Yoga of Motherhood’
- The integration of the self and how your yoga practice can help you to hold more of who you are as a human being.
- The process of rebirth that happens on the yoga mat and the opportunity you have to rediscover your true self.
- How does the practice of yoga facilitate our evolution of mothers?
- Loss of self-identity after becoming a mother
- The five afflictions that can interrupt your ability to deal with challenges and how does yoga & meditation can help with
- The practice of coming into the present moment and the opportunity you get to be with yourself and see yourself more clearly and face yourself.
- How your yoga practice can help you build the capacity to deal with scary emotions like fear, anger. rage, insecurity, fear of abandonment, or the biggest fear of all “I can’t parent or mother properly”.